


If You Can't Trust Your Family.

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-07-29
Updated: 1999-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-11 05:11:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11141685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ben tells Ray about a painful incident from his past.





	If You Can't Trust Your Family.

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

If You Can't Trust Your Family

 

****

This story is rated PG for honest discussion of an adult topic. The story also depicts a m/m relationship. If this offends you, don't read it. 

These characters are the legal property of Alliance and no copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made. 

****

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST YOUR FAMILY... 

Ray Vecchio was in the kitchen of the apartment he shared with Benton Fraser, fixing lunch and singing along boisterously to the radio. It was shortly after noon on Saturday, and Benny would be home soon. He had gone in to wok that morning to catch up on some paperwork. 

Ray had been less than happy about that, until Ben had promised that when he got home, he would be Ray's for the rest of the day. Ray whole-heartedly approved of that idea, and his afternoon plans for Benny had nothing to do with filing. 

Ray checked the soup again, then headed to the refrigerator to start the salad. He jumped when he noticed Ben in the doorway, smiling at him affectionately. 

"Hi, Benny. How long have you been there?" 

Ben shrugged. "Just a minute or so." 

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

Ben's smile deepened into a grin. "I did. You couldn't hear me." 

"Oh. Sorry." Ray went over and turned down the radio, then crossed back over to Ben. "Welcome home." He smiled, drawing Ben into his arms for a kiss. "How was work?" 

"Boring. I could use a little excitement this afternoon." 

Ray grinned. "I think I can take care of that." 

"Good. Let me go get changed." Ben headed off for the bedroom, and Ray turned his attention back to his lunch preparations. A minute later the doorbell rang, and Ray went to answer it. 

The mailman was standing on the other side of the door. "I have a certified letter for a Benton Fraser." 

"Yeah, he lives here. I'll sign for it." Ray signed the receipt and took the letter. "Thank you kindly, Karl." Ray said, reading the man's name off his badge. 

"Thank you sir. Have a nice day." 

Ray stepped back into the apartment and closed the door. He glanced at the letter, and his eyebrows rose slightly when he saw the return address. Ben entered the room, now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. 

"Hey, Benny." Ray grinned, "Were you doing something you shouldn't have been back in the Territories?" 

"I beg your pardon?" Ben looked confused, but he was smiling back at Ray. 

"You got a certified letter here from an attorney in Inuvik, Benny. I'm guessing the only attorney in Inuvik, am I right?" 

The grin faded rapidly from Ben's face. Wordlessly, he crossed over to Ray and took the letter. Taking a seat on the couch, he opened and read the letter. When he was done, he put it back in the envelope and just sat there, not moving or speaking. 

"Benny?" Ray sat next to him on the couch. "What's wrong?" The way his lover was acting was starting to scare him. 

After a long pause, Ben spoke quietly. "My Grandfather died." 

Ray was startled- and confused. "What, recently?" 

Ben nodded. "About six weeks ago." 

"I thought he died a long time ago." 

"I know. I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to lie to you." 

"Then why did you?" Ray asked quietly. 

Ben turned to look at him at last, and Ray felt his heart clench at the pain in Benny's eyes. "I wasn't even sure myself if he was still alive. Until now." 

"Why not, Benny?" 

"We lost touch." 

"Lost touch? Come on, Benny, he was one of your only relatives." 

Ben nodded. "I know." His eyes filled with tears, and he looked away again. 

Ray ran a hand through Ben's hair. "Benny," he asked quietly, "what happened?" 

There was another pause, so long that Ray began to wonder if Ben would tell him. But at last Fraser began to speak. 

"It was the summer I was 18. I had been struggling for a long, long time. With who I was, the feelings I had...But I'd been drawn to members of my own sex since I was eight years old, Ray." 

Ray nodded. "I know." He said quietly. 

"For a long time, I told myself that it was a phase, that I'd outgrow it. But as I got older, the feelings didn't change. If anything, they grew deeper and stronger. Don't get me wrong, Ray; you know I have nothing against women. I admire them. I think they're wonderful. But sexually, and romantically... I'm interested in men." 

Ray smiled at Ben and cupped his face in his hand. "I thank God for that every day, Benny." 

Ben smiled at him, and Ray drew Ben into his arms to rest against his shoulder. Ben continued speaking. 

"So at last I admitted to myself that I was gay. And it felt wonderful. To admit it at last- it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But it was scary, too. I had no idea how people would react, or how it might affect my career with the RCMP. I had already decided to apply by that time. So I decided to start by telling the people I felt safest with- my Grandparents." Ben laughed, a bitter sound with no humor in it. 

"They didn't take the news well, to put it mildly. First they told me that it was just a phase I was going through, that I was experimenting, confused. I insisted that I wasn't, that I had been dealing with it for my whole life. That it's who I am." His voice trailed off. 

Ray took one of Ben's hands and held it firmly between his own. "What happened then, Benny?" He asked softly. 

Ben cleared his throat. "They told me that it was wrong. That homosexuality was evil and went against God's plan." 

Ray made a noise of disgust deep in his throat. 

"I told them that it wasn't a choice I had made, that it's just who I am. They didn't believe me. They said that as long as I continued down that path, they would not be able to associate with me." 

"'Not be able to associate with you'?" Ray's voice was tinged with angry disbelief. "They put it that way?" 

Ben nodded. "Those were the exact words they used. They then told me that I was no longer welcome in their home." 

"Benny, you were only 18!" 

Ben nodded again. "Yes." 

Ray tightened his grip on Ben's hand. "What did you do?" 

"I packed up my stuff and moved out. I stayed with friends for awhile..." Ben's voice trailed off, and there was another long silence. "About a year later, I went back to visit them. I thought that maybe with time and distance... I thought maybe they would change their minds." A small, humorless smile flickered across Ben's face. 

"And at first, they were so happy to see me. They told me how glad they were that I had changed my mind; that I had 'reformed'. They said that their prayers had been answered. I told them I hadn't changed, that I was gay and always would be. The re-stated their position. Most firmly. That was the last time I saw my Grandmother alive." 

"Oh, Benny." Ray whispered, his heart aching. He let go of Ben's hand and wrapped both arms around his lover, bringing Ben back to rest against his chest. It was several minutes before Ben spoke again. 

"About five years later I received word that my Grandmother had died. I went back for her funeral. I thought that maybe with the passage of time and the changed circumstances my Grandfather and I..." Ben drew a shaky breath and let it out slowly. 

"I don't know what I thought, exactly, but I went to her funeral anyway. I wasn't sure of the reception I would receive, so I snuck into the church and sat in the last pew. After the service my Grandfather came up to me outside the church. He said he had seen me at the service, and he could accept that; but he asked me not to go to the gravesite. He said it would be too hard on him and dishonor my Grandmother's memory." 

"Stupid bastard." Ray muttered. 

"Ray." 

"Benny, don't-" Ray sighed. "I'm sorry, love. Go ahead. You didn't go to the graveside service, did you?" 

"No, Ray." Ben sounded surprised that Ray had asked. "I had to honor my Grandfather's wishes." 

'No you didn't.' Ray thought to himself, but he didn't say it out loud. Instead he asked "What did you do?" 

"I left. I left town, went to the airport and got on a plane. I never saw my Grandfather again." 

Ray buried his face in Ben's hair and they sat quietly for a long time. A thought occurred to Ray suddenly. "Benny, you never told your Father, did you? About your being gay, I mean." 

"No, Ray. I was afraid of how he'd react. I didn't want to lose him, too. We didn't have the best or closest relationship, it mostly took place over the phone; but he was all I had left and I couldn't stand the thought of losing him, too." 

"Oh, Benny." Ray whispered past the lump in his throat. He felt a few tears escape, and he hoped Benny wouldn't notice. 

Ray had never had a particularly high opinion of Benny's Grandparents. Ben did not talk about them all that much, but to Ray they had always sounded like distant, emotionless people. But Ray was now filled with an enormous amount of anger towards them. How could they have done that to Benny? 

Ben was one of the best people Ray had ever known. Smart, caring, always looking out for someone else- more often than not putting their needs ahead of his own. His Grandparents had helped raise him. They knew what kind of man Benny was. How could they just cut him out of their lives for something in which he had absolutely no choice? Ray could not comprehend how they could turn their backs on their own flesh and blood. 

Suddenly, Ray sat up straighter. "Benny, is this why you're so adamant against telling my family?" 

Ben nodded. "I know what it's like to go through that, Ray. To lose your family because you come out to them. I couldn't stand it if that happened to you because of me." 

"Benny, that wouldn't happen. And even if it did, it wouldn't be because of you." 

"Ray..." 

"Besides, you're my family, Benny." 

Ben turned in Ray's arms to face him. "I'm part of your family, Ray. But I'm certainly not all of your family. I know how much you love them, how much you need them all. I couldn't take it if you lost them and I was in any way responsible." 

Ray relented. "All right, Benny. We won't tell them right away. We'll wait until you're ready. And you will be ready one day; and we will tell them. And they'll understand, love. I know they will." 

He noticed that Ben was shaking, and he drew him into his arms and held him tightly. 

"Ray..." "Benny, my family is not your Grandparents, OK? They won't react that way. They'll accept it. They'll accept _us_." 

"But Ray, what if they don't?" 

Ray didn't answer the question, because he could think of nothing to say. 

 

****

THE END 


End file.
